Illustration by Troy DeShano

I’m not sure what happened in Elisha’s life that lead to his role as possibly the most troubled of prophets.

Maybe it was abusive parents or no parents at all.. maybe that’s how he ended up with his master Elijah in the first place.

Maybe he grew up devoted to religion and watched his family exploited because of their commitment to Yahweh..

Perhaps he just grew sick and tired of witnessing Elijah working so hard to turn back the kings to God.. only to be consistently threatened and exiled.

Elisha’s not going to waste his time casting his proverbial pearls before swine… so he’s quick to send man-eating bears and hurl lightning bolts on any approaching mobs.

Whatever it is, it’s easy to imagine him sitting in his stereotypical holy-man position atop the mountain. Only as the soldiers draw near he knows they’re not seeking wisdom. So why bother humoring them?

Zap.

Lightninged.

I can’t say I understand the violence of the Old Testament… but what I do love is a prophet with problems.

Because I can relate to a guy like that, you know?

I may not be zapping people.. but to say I have intimacy problems would be a bit of an understatement. I’m happier just sitting on my favorite summit hoping no one comes close enough that I have to lightning them… and I may not be siccing my bears on the town children… but I sure do mumble under my breath a lot when the neighbor kid mows the lawn at 8am on Saturday…

But what what challenges me about this Old Testament Hancock is that even though I may be considerably more tolerant than Elisha, I doubt I have his compassion.

In the midst of dissatisfaction we’re all sharing with Wall Street, would I be willing to offer healing to the most oppressive of executives? You know, the kind of guy getting fat by exploiting slave labor and blood diamonds? Would I even point him in the direction of the Jordan River?

And if I did, would I have the courage to say “don’t worry about it,” upon his offer of compensation?

Not bloody likely.

Elisha the Troubled Prophet is also available as a limited edition print. Get one today in my shop!

Related Posts

1. Eglon the Slightly Overweight
2. 1.21 Gigawatts!
3. Home School vs Public School

Illustration by Troy DeShano

What’s the one thing you swore you’d never become?

Your mother?

“The Man?”

A corporate cog?

overprotective parent?

a fundamentalist? immutable?

deadbeat?

a leech?

an a-hole?

a Republican?

Well… how are you doing with that? From what I can tell many, many people swear in their youth that they’ll never be this-or-that… usually related to the negative character traits they see in their parents or harmful personal experiences they’ve had at the hands of another.

But I’d guess that in more cases than not, we (even against tooth and nail) almost always become that very thing.

Maybe it looks different… you may have sworn you’d never be a right-wing fundamentalist religious fanatic, but now are just as unbending and intolerant within your own personal dogma (even if at the other end of the spectrum).

“I’m right, you’re wrong, la la la la la I can’t hear you!” is still the same thing.

Maybe you saw your father as a workaholic or hot tempered or impatient or distant, but managed to find enough strength despite all that to say “that will never be me.” Until, of  course you’ve got 4 kids and stuck working odd jobs 60 hours a week because you got laid off in 2009 like everyone else and you hate your work and you’re stressed out and tired and your kids ignore you just one time too many.

Or just prior to having your first baby you gave Shakespearean soliloquies on how you’ve forsaken the TV and cheeseburgers and replaced them with classical music and cloth diapers and flash cards…

LOL

I was reading the Old Testament the other day about the Israelites building the walls of Jericho.

Building the walls of Jericho??

I thought Joshua fit the battle, right? and the walls came a tumblin down?

Well they did.

And just following the victory Joshua made sure to spare one life — the prostitute Rahab since she’d lied — and then cast a curse upon the one who dares rebuild this fortress. He’d be certain to lose his oldest and youngest sons in the process.

In a handful of generations, the liberated slave nation went from the oppressed to the oppressors… to a monarchy (where the oppression came from within) to civil war and eventually a fragmented former-nation of idolatrous tribes with phallus poles on every corner, temple prostitutes (for worship, of course) and infant sacrifices (they wanted to be prosperous, after all).

At which point one particular king thought it’d make a heckuva lotta sense to rebuild that fortress in Jericho. (and of course christen it with the contractor Hiel’s firstborn sacrificed at the foundation and his youngest at the gate)

and there it is.

They’d become that very thing I’m sure as they wandered in from their 40 years in the wilderness everyone would have sworn they never would.

And so it often goes with us.

As the world wears us down until our skin is dry and callused and flakey we shed it to reveal what seems to be a fresh slimy (in a good way) layer of brilliant newness.

But with each passing layer we fail to notice that over time we’re not emerging as butterflies from the chrysalis, but just the same old serpent littering scales all over the place.

All of a sudden I am that guy. The one I would have bet my first-and-last-born in my youth that I’d never become.

(and all-too-often this revelation is followed by red convertibles and new trophy wives)

So what can you do? Is it possible to recommission your fight against the inevitable? Or is it possible to accept you’re that “thing” and make it better than you knew it could be?

What can you do?

Related Posts

1. Eglon the Slightly Overweight
2. Sufjan Stevens: The Age of Adz
3. They Fit!

Illustration by Troy DeShano

Judges chapter three (in the Old Testament) specifically tells us that Eglon, King of Moab was “grossly fat.”

But in verse 20 of the chapter Eglon stands up.

He stands up?

Guess by good ol’ U.S. of A. standards he’d be described as “average” or “a little overweight.”

No “grossly fat” man in this great nation of ours would be able to stand up in the time it took Ehud to snatch the dagger from his right thigh with his left hand and plunge it permanently into Ehud’s belly.

Related Posts

1. Elisha the Troubled Superhero
2. Changel
3. They Fit!

Celebrate God all day, every day.

I mean, revel in him!

Don’t fret or worry.

Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.

I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst…

the beautiful, not the ugly

things to praise, not things to curse.

Peace.

Related Posts

1. King of Cynics: Part 1
2. Creation and the Cross
3. Living in the Moment

The older brother stalked off in an angry sulk and refused to join in [the celebration]. His father came out and tried to talk to him, but he wouldn’t listen. The son said, “look how many years I’ve stayed here serving you, never giving you one moment of grief, but have you ever thrown a party for me and my friends? Then this son of yours who has thrown away your money on whores shows up and you go all out with a feast!”

His father said, “Son, you don’t understand. You’re with me all the time, and everything that is mine is yours—but this is a wonderful time, and we had to celebrate. This brother of yours was dead, and he’s alive! He was lost, and he’s found!” —Luke 15:28-32 —The Message

The targets of this story [of The Prodigal Son] are not “wayward sinners” but religious people who do everything the Bible requires.

Jesus is pleading not so much with immoral outsiders as with the moral insiders. He wants to show them their blindness, narrowness, and self-righteousness, and how these things are destroying both their own souls and the lives of the people around them. It is a mistake, then, to think that Jesus tells this story primarily to assure younger brothers of his unconditional love.

No, the original listeners were not melted into tears by this story, but rather they were thunderstruck, offended, and infuriated.

Jesus’s purpose is not to warm our hearts but to shatter our categories.

—Tim Keller, The Prodigal God

Related Posts

1. White Jesus Loves You
2. Goodbye
3. Jesus vs. the Democrats

Some frustrations of a world-weary and disillusioned emperor:

In the end, does it really make a difference what anyone does?

I’ve had a good look at what God has given us to do—busywork, mostly. True, God made everything beautiful in itself and in its time—but he’s left us in the dark, so we can never know what God is up to, whether he’s coming or going. I’ve decided that there’s nothing better to do than go ahead and have a good time and get the most we can out of life. That’s it—eat, drink, and make the most of your job. It’s God’s gift.

I’ve also concluded that whatever God does, that’s the way it’s going to be, always. No addition, no subtraction. God’s done it and that’s it. That’s so we’ll quit asking questions and simply worship in holy fear.

Whatever was, is.

Whatever will be, is.

That’s how it always is with God.

Share/Save/E-mail

Related Posts

1. Feed the Kids Cigarettes for Breakfast
2. Jesus vs. the Democrats
3. Living in the Moment