Creative Block
Posted by Troy | Filed under Self Project
Here on the northwest shores of Lake Michigan, we experience a natural phenomenon known as “lake effect.” We’re perfectly positioned in climate and landscape to enjoy hundreds of inches of snow every year. Most years the snow starts falling around Thanksgiving and continues each day until after Christmas. The newness of winter and the pure white blanket that covers everything is always an inspiring change. I don’t think I could ever live in a place that has no winter.
But as we turn the corner into February, each of the slowly falling flakes brings with it a tiny dose of depression.
When weeks and months pass without any sunshine, our bodies and minds enter a kind of hibernation that makes motivation hard to come by.
Tags: depression, original illustration, self
I’m Here
Posted by Troy | Filed under Self Project
I’m lucky enough to have never suffered from chronic depression.
But it does sneak up on me from time to time.
Every once in a while I’d just as soon stay in bed and am lucky that my office is a mere 3 feet away or I’d never make it.
Today is one of those days.
Tags: depression, Faith, original illustration, self
How Does it Feel to be Moss Man
Posted by Troy | Filed under Self Project
Illustration by Troy DeShano
If I were to list my top 5 rock songs of all time (which I could never do of course) “Like a Rolling Stone” would definitely be in the list.
I’ll never forget the last time I saw Bob Dylan perform that song. I was in the first few rows of a crowd of 80,000 and even though not a single one of us could understand the his geriatric smoker’s voice we all screamed along in unison.
How does it feel?
to be on your own
a complete unknown
with no direction home
like a rolling stone?
Even though the song is technically about privileged folks whose tables have all turned the idea of being a rolling stone has always resonated with me.
Tags: Bob Dylan, original illustration, self
Troublemaker
Posted by Troy | Filed under Self Project
Over the past year that I’ve been learning to face my fears and discovering the lies that fuel them, I’ve also been making attempts to be more proactive in finding scary situations. So that this time around, I can run through them rather than from them.
One thing I’ve discovered through years of trials is that I am the most spiritually connected when I find myself in some sort of trouble.
Tags: fear, original illustration, self, trouble
My Feminine Side is Menopausal
Posted by Troy | Filed under Self Project
I recently heard a preacher say he didn’t want to “get in touch with” his feminine side.
“I don’t have a feminine side! I’m a man!”
I really have no idea what he was talking about.
Tags: gender, manhood, original illustration, self
Crazy with the Cheez Whiz
Posted by Troy | Filed under Self Project
This image means nothing at all.
Does that mean something?
Are the blue scribbles really random, or can the chaos be broken down into a mathematical formula?
Or as a squiggle of a mouse predestined and orchestrated by God.
Or has God created a supernatural math equation?
I love the idea of every molecule of existence perfectly chaotic and totally ordered all-at-once.
Many people of faith are scared of post-modernity.
I think it is a bright light for those of us who believe in something more.
Tags: original illustration, post-modern, self
Giggling in Pain
Posted by Troy | Filed under Music, Self Project
So in the spring of 1994 Kurt Cobain died.
Might not mean much to most, but to me it did.
Not that I was one of the fanatical Nirvana kids—not even close. But somehow Kurt Cobain had affected me.
Maybe it was what he said, or how he said it.
But really I think it was just the music.
Which he would have been glad to hear.
I don’t think I even realized it at the time, but as much as I found emotional freedom in Nirvana’s magic, it was totally hopeless.
“Nothing” was the fundamental message.
The bohemians failed, love and peace and all that crap lost to money and power and socio-economic darwinism.
And our generation was not going to be made a fool of like the one before.
So we avoided.
The only unforgivable sin was to care too much about anything.
Tags: nirvana, original illustration, self, weezer, weezer week
Cancer Boy
Posted by Troy | Filed under Cancer, Self Project
When I was 21 I was diagnosed with cancer.
Testicular cancer actually, which was kind of en vogue in 2000. Celebrities like Lance Armstrong (hardly a celebrity before his cancer) and Tom Green (remember Tom Green?) were making national headlines enduring treatments and starting a very important conversation about the risk of testicular cancer among young men.
Turns out it really isn’t so glamorous.
In a lot of cases it is treatable though. If you can catch it early.
Of course since most guys that have this type of cancer are cock-sure college age guys who (like me) are in no hurry to get their balls checked out by the part-time nurse at the free clinic, it quite often goes undetected longer than it should.
My diagnosis and first surgery did kind of add to my celebrity around college. Whereas before I went pretty much undetected, I could now be recognized as “cancer boy.”
Tags: Cancer, original illustration
24 Words of Wisdom for a 17-yr-old Me
Posted by Troy | Filed under Self Project
Kind of hard to believe I’m nearly twice my age. If I could give my 17-year-old self some wisdom, what would it be?
- Be a friend to the weird kids. They have much to teach you.
- Don’t obsess about girls so much.
- Stop pretending you don’t obsess about girls.
- Raise more hell. Right now is your only chance.
- Don’t wait til you’re 21 to start reading.
- Save your sketches and writings.
- Your friends are also struggling with porn and also terrified to talk to anyone about it. Break the ice.
- You’ll never stop sinning. No one will. You’re totally missing the point.
- Your parents are going to be o.k. somehow.
- You are less o.k. than you realize. Get some help (you’re gonna have to be brave though).
- The truth really does set you free.
- You don’t have to be good at drawing to be a good artist.
- God’s will isn’t a mystery. You’re living it.
- Stop and ask directions right away.
- Don’t take your balls for granted.
- Riding the bench is a waste of your time.
- Have a small adventure every day. Have big adventures regularly.
- She’s not The One. Not even close. In fact she doesn’t even really like you that much.
- That Looney Tunes shirt you’re saving will never be back in style, not even in an ironic way.
- Take sports less serious. In fact, take just about everything less serious.
- Hang onto your friends. (spoiler: you actually do this and it is pretty amazing)
- There might actually be folks that don’t attend Calvary Baptist in heaven.
- Being a grown-up is kind of a drag sometimes. Don’t be in such a hurry.
- Don’t let fear get to you. The future is o.k. (and Saved by the Bell reruns are still on. aw yeah!)
This post was inspired by Andrea’s list.
Tags: original illustration, self
Aurthur Fonzarelli vs. Alex P. Keaton
Posted by Troy | Filed under Self Project
When I was a kid I wanted to be The Fonz.
Who didn’t though… really?
He rode a motorcycle, lived in an over-garage apartment, was super-popular with the ladies, had enough confidence to dance and even had the power to defeat Mork in a battle of appendages (an unfortunate episode)…
and unlike most guys who ride motorcycles and live in over-garage apartments and dance and are good with “ladies,” The Fonz was actually cool.
and to top it all off he was even compassionate. He befriended the otherwise-camouflage Richie Cunningham and his neo-maxi-zoom-dweebie friends Ralph and Potsie. Fonzie’s big heart gave me hope that someone as cool might take the otherwise-camouflage me under his wing (and that I might become just as cool as a result).
But becoming Fonzie wasn’t my only vision, I was also pretty impressed with Alex P. Keaton.
