Thinking About Divorce
Posted by Troy | Filed under Marriage
I’ve been thinking a lot about divorce lately…
For so many years I spent in Christian fundamentalism the topic was pretty black and white.
And in so many years since, I’ve learned that most of what was black and white before… isn’t really at all.
Good and bad, I define these terms
Quite clear, no doubt, somehow.
Ah, but I was so much older then,
I’m younger than that now.
How can I best serve a friend in dire straights?
Does divorce even mean anything anymore?
Or more importantly… does marriage? It seems that within our culture, marriage has come to be nothing more than two signatures on a sheet of paper.
It can be easily authenticated by Elvis and easily dissolved if someone cuts the cheese too frequently.
Even mainstream Evangelical denominations have deemed marriage so insignificant, that it has become totally unnecessary for a couple to be considered holy and healthy.
I remember reading Lauren Winner a while back, who is constantly stressing the value of community (and the lack thereof in our culture). She pointed out one aspect of the wedding ceremony of which I had never considered and has certainly shifted my wondering “what’s the point…”
It is the community of witnesses… there on your wedding day… committing to this relationship just as much as the bride and groom.
By “holding our peace” we commit to serving this family—whatever that means.
And I guess that’s why I must be there for my friend today. I don’t have much wisdom to share or provocative questions that will enlighten his thinking. I most certainly cannot tell him what is right and wrong.
But I’ve got both a literal and a figurative shoulder to cry on if he needs it.
And a swift kick in the pants if he needs that.
And I know he’d have the same for me.
Tags: illustration, original illustration
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7 Responses to “Thinking About Divorce”
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amanda Says:
September 9th, 2009 at 1:25 pmi definitely appreciate your viewpoint and certainly a lot of people are disilliusioned with marriage, but i don’t agree that there is no right and wrong in reasons for divorce. i’m not saying i know what they are or that any decision is ever an easy one, but i do believe the Bible has more answers than we’ve given it credit for because of our fundy roots that told us that absolutley EVERYTHING has a black and white right or wrong answer even if we needed to take scripture out of context and change the words to get it to mean what we wanted to. reading ephesians and genesis has been encouraging to me in understanding the meaning of marriage.
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tim clark Says:
September 9th, 2009 at 6:25 pmI’m praying for you.
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Troy Says:
September 9th, 2009 at 7:43 pmThanks for the prayers Tim.
Just to clarify for the world… I’m not thinking about getting a divorce…
Just thinking about divorce.
Amanda, thanks for your great thoughts.
I’m not suggesting that there isn’t right or wrong when it comes to marriage or divorce… merely that it isn’t so simple as black and white.
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amanda Says:
September 10th, 2009 at 6:11 pmyeah, sorry if i came off as insensitive. i can’t imagine it would ever be an easy decision.
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Brent Says:
September 20th, 2009 at 9:36 amMy wife (Sue) and I are just finishing a challenging book called Sacred Marriage. The premis is “What if God Intended Marriage for our Holiness more than Our Happiness.” A must read for anyone considering marriage or trying to figure out the one they’re in.
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Troy Says:
September 20th, 2009 at 12:44 pmI noticed our church doing a group study on the same book… I thought the title was provocative and I may have to check that out.
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September Illustrations on Strong Odors | Says:
October 11th, 2009 at 3:06 pm[...] Thinking About Divorce [...]
