I Went to Bob Jones University
Posted by Troy | Filed under Self Project
Most people are surprised when they find out I attended Bob Jones University.
“Why?” “Yeah, right,” or “What the heck were you thinking?” are pretty standard responses.
I was thinking it was God’s will for me to attend BJU.
Seriously.
The truth is that I had attended a fundamental independent Baptist church and school for the previous 18 years…
We’d call Billy Graham “liberal,” condemn any music with emphasis on the 2nd and 4th beat (that’s all contemporary christian, jazz and even easy listening) as “satanic,” considered smoking cigarettes the #1 proof of anyone’s true spiritual state (obviously depraved heathen), and heaven forbid if you got pregnant “out of wedlock”… you might as well go join the cult of the Pentecostals because “speaking in tongues” might make you feel a little better about your degenerate condition…
and of the 4 or 5 colleges that my church/school “approved” it was obvious that Bob Jones was the one that real Christians should attend.
I wanted to be a real Christian.
I wanted to prove that I had what it takes… to have attended any other fundamentalist institution (in my mind) would have been admitting weakness… to attend one of those “liberal” Christian colleges like Cornerstone University or Cedarville would be like admitting defeat… and places like Liberty University always required “air quotes” if someone called them “christian” – so that wasn’t even in the picture.
(and anything outside of those Baptist options I’d probably never even heard of)
so I’m a 16/17-year-old kid making this decision and every dominant influence in my life is sending me the message that BJU is where God wants me… and I don’t want to compromise or show any weakness… and I develop a feeling in my gut that “BJU is where God wants me.”
So I figured it was God’s will.
I thought I knew what I was getting into, but I didn’t.
Because I thought it would be just a bunch of rules to follow… I could handle that, I’d been in Christian school my whole life. What I didn’t realize though is that it isn’t just rules about haircuts and belt-wearing and co-ed activities… it is an entire culture in itself and it is religion at it’s worst.
It was a culture that was racist, unloving, and insensitive with no nurturing of hurt kids, no allowance for humanity and one that used fear as the primary motivator for religious refinement.
It is a miracle that anyone passing through learns anything about grace. (and when they do it’s in spite of, not because of the institution)
It was only years later when I discovered that Jesus’s strongest words in the gospels are aimed at the most religious members of his society.
Out of the sea of pantyhose/floral-print jumpers and starched-shirts/paisley ties I was able to make out a handful of kids who had the courage to attempt being different.
and out of those a few who were authentically different (and not just attention-starved)
and out of those a small number who seemed to be seeking both God and themselves honestly.
It is those few who have had more impact than just about anyone in my becoming an adult and my love of the Bible.
We were like refugees, huddled together around a New American Standard Bible translation, reading it by proverbial candlelight and discussing doctrines of grace with the same hushed tones that we’d speak of pipe smoke or Smashing Pumpkins.
Some of us (especially those that got out early) managed to emerge relatively unscathed, while others took a decade of healing before discovering some sort of balance, and yet others continue to nurse the wounds of self-lying required to survive four years of undergrad.
The funny thing is that out of that group I not only came to first understand grace, the thrill of discovering God, and the value of mentoring relationships, I also managed to meet another BJU misfit that now happens to be my wife of 11 years.
(we stole a glance outside Stratton Hall one morning and the rest is history)
So in a weird way, I think it was God’s will for me after all.
It’s a mysterious thing. It rarely makes sense and almost never takes me where I’d most likely choose to go.
So I brace myself for the ride and watch for those glimmers of enlightenment along the way that remind me that I’m not in control (and that it’s a good thing).
Tags: Faith, original illustration, self
10 Responses to “I Went to Bob Jones University”
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jeff Says:
July 5th, 2010 at 11:19 amvietnam.
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T.C. Worley Says:
July 5th, 2010 at 12:52 pmAmen, brother. Glad you made it out “alive”.
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Rick DeShano Says:
July 5th, 2010 at 3:02 pmThis was a great artrcle Troy. And with looking back, it may have been all about you and Noel meeting that Freshman year.
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Mom Says:
July 5th, 2010 at 3:46 pmCould have added that your parents did not make you go there!!
We trusted your desire to follow God and supported your choice. You did find an awesome soul mate there so I do beleive it was indeed God’s will for you. -
Tim Clark Says:
July 5th, 2010 at 7:52 pmIt was weird to read this. Can I just copy and paste this onto my blog?
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Troy Says:
July 5th, 2010 at 8:45 pmdo it tim.
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Troy Says:
July 5th, 2010 at 8:45 pmMy parents were really supportive, even though I knew they thought I was crazy.
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WV Says:
July 3rd, 2011 at 5:12 pmSo the reasons, motivations, influences in your life that convinced you that you should go there, in order to be in God’s will, sound so much like mine….and I was a product of fundamentalism decades before you I think.
Yes, and the small group of characters who pulled me through… I love them dearly and do feel that we endured a trial or battle together…
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Barbara Quinn Says:
July 21st, 2011 at 11:47 amTroy,
your so honest article is one of the best most honest and humble articles that I have read on line, since I began to research fundamentalism and its deadly/damaging effect on precious people’s lives. Have been researching this subject for a number of years, more than ten anyway. God has given me a deep passion for true freedom in Jesus Christ, to help people understand and enter into, and live and walk in, the true freedom in Jesus Christ, as well as deep love and compassion for those who have been enslaved by false teaching and its negative,undermining effects on people’s lives, which brings them into such bondage of misery and unhappiness. Which keeps them always feeling that somehow they are a failure and always will be. Legalism and all of the deceptive religious substitutes people are deceived into blindly following,cause them to miss and lose their right focus and sound thinking, on what real and genuine christianity, and the ‘real love of God’ , really is and always has been. Legalism is a denial of the Grace of God. We all need a greater revelelation of God’s Grace, and a revelation of the book of Galatians, to combat legalism and keep it outside the gates of our lives, and treat it as a real enemy of trye freedom, which it is. Being deeply committed to living and walking in the real love of God, in His Light, and in His Truth, no matter what happens to me, no matter who persecutes me, has cost me very painfully in the cost of committment for the past thirty one years. But I have realized that the cost of committment, the pain ,suffering, and persecution, because of my following God from my heart, and wanting to obey God from my heart, in true obedience, has all been worth it. I love Him so much. I am so moved by your story and journey. I hope you keep writing about it. God will use you to bring many dear souls out of bondage and into his glorious Grace. Please keep writing. Sincerely, your sister in Christ. Barb. -
Barbara Quinn Says:
July 22nd, 2011 at 11:56 amHey troy! Just listened to, watched your music video. Great beat, man! Have you posted the words to the song on your blog? I like reading the words to songs. Because language says a lot. What a beat though. Imagine how the pope of BJU would roll his sanctimonious eyes at that beat! An earthquake might hit that part of South Greenville. And the sooner the better. Just demolish all that false religion, but save the people! Love your art postings. not sure how much of the art is your’s and other’s art. It”s really provocative! Makes me think of getting back to art myself. Isn’t it fun doing all the things you used to be told were bad, bad, bad, like drinking beer? Fundies believe that drinking beer is a sign of the great apostacy, like Constantine ruined christianity until the reformation restored it. Some restoration, if you look at what fundamentalism has done to it! Yikes! Really glad you made it to the five year remission stage. Life is sooooooo good! Love that music beat, man.
